Carrying on a long distance relationship is difficult enough without having to add in the extra pressures that individuals sometimes bring to the situation. Being apart brings out certain qualities in a partner they might not have ever opened to before. Plus, the pressures involved in this type of relationship cause normal situations to become overly stressful. To avoid creating unnecessary problems, here are a few actions that you should stay well clear from…
1. Taking your long distance partner for granted. Believing they will always be there… no matter what, and that they are hopelessly interested in only you. A partner will put up with a lot over a long distance, but taking them and their feelings for granted is not one of them. Even the most patient and understanding person will grow tired of feeling like they are a sure thing.
2. Not staying in touch. This is the same as ignoring them. Your partner wants to know they can talk to you when they want, or need to. Hearing your voice removes the doubts and fears they might have and gives them the boost they need to get through a difficult time of being apart from you. Take that security away from them and you are taking away a critical component of the relationship. It might not seem really important to you, but it could be a very serious matter to your partner.
3. Tempting their trust. Yes, when the two of you are separated by a great distance, it’s easy to starting seeing other people. And yes, it is almost a guarantee you could get away with it. But that doesn’t make it right. You wouldn’t want them to see other people, so why would you think it’s OK for you to date others? This includes just dating someone else since you never know where it will lead.
4. Accusing them of something you don’t have proof of. This could cover everything from:
- avoiding your calls,
- to delaying in returning calls,
- to dating others. and
- especially cheating on you.
If you do not have substantial proof (“proof” being the operative word), then do not make the accusation. Having a “feeling” something is going on, is not worth losing your relationship over.
5. Being too needy. This has a tendency to drive people crazy when you are around them. Try carrying on in this manner when you have substantial distance between you, and you might as well start searching through the online dating sites for a new partner… one that is local.
Learn about yourself… are destructive emotions at the heart of any problems you are experiencing with your long distance relationship? If so, maybe you need to get control of what you are really telling yourself.