A midlife divorce can be the most difficult season of life you’ve ever encountered. Often a woman is confronted with challenges on all fronts, facing financial troubles, loneliness, and a loss of the moorings that have kept her stabilized for years. Divorce recovery requires a new way of looking at just about everything. Here are some ideas for establishing that new attitude and getting on with your life.
First, it’s been said that all healing begins with forgiveness. ‘But he doesn’t deserve forgiveness!’ you may think. And you’d probably be right. The main point of forgiveness, though, is to set yourself free, not to let the guilty party off the hook. You’re not saying it’s OK that he hurt you. You’re saying, “I choose not to live with the feelings of bitterness associated with unforgiveness.”
When you hold on to the hurt feelings, you’re hurting yourself far more than you’re hurting the one who hurt you. In fact, by letting go of the anger, you are destroying your ex’s power to keep hurting you.
Second, researchers are beginning to discover the importance of gratitude in finding and maintaining emotional well-being. Can you find anything to feel thankful for? It could be something as simple as a kind word from a friend or the sunshine. Are you reasonably healthy? Can you see, hear, and walk? Does your car run well? Do you have decent roads to drive on and appliances to help you with your daily tasks?
It may seem like the darkest of times to you. In fact, it likely is the hardest thing you’ve ever been through. It may seem hard to find hope again after a midlife divorce. Still, there is probably something for which you can feel grateful.
Third, don’t be ashamed to seek some help. Just the fact that you are reading this article indicates that you know there is help available to encourage you in this life after divorce. There are many sources for help. Perhaps you can locate a divorce recovery support group or a sympathetic counselor or life coach. Sharing your thoughts and being sociable is very healing. Just knowing you are not alone in your pain can make a world of difference.
Divorce can leave women feeling traumatized. Give yourself time to grieve the loss of your dreams. Then, with a little help from your friends, move on toward a new life and a new attitude!
Are you ready to move on from your divorce? If so, Lose the Stress After a Midlife Divorce, is a Better Beyond™ guide filled with useful strategies to transform your life right now. This information packed eBook and a surprise gift is yours FREE just for visiting http://www.betterbeyonddivorce.com.
Diane Adkins is a certified life coach, certified neuro-linguistic practitioner, and owner of Better Beyond™ Coaching Solutions, and has dedicated her life to being a Midlife Divorce Recovery Specialist helping women to start living the life they deserve after a midlife divorce.